it's all so obvious

I am a big nerd and have a thing for desk calendars. This year's has quotes from "wild women." A couple of months ago I got this one, "Meeting guys in bars is like going grocery shopping when you're hungry. You come home with things you don't need." Not that I tend to go home with the guys I meet in bars, but last weekend was a pretty good example of why this quote is true...

A friend and I decided to go out even though we had just exausted ourselves doing a 50 mile bike ride earlier in the day. It was definatly not an all out night, but we kind of felt like people watching, and there is nothing more entertaining then watching drunk people when you are sober (although, we have realized that when you are sober and actually enjoying kicking back, drunk people think that you look unhappy and will make sure to tell you this multiple times).

While this first encounter has nothing to do with guys in bars, it was the begining to what would be a bizarre night. Standing on the corner about the cross the street, out of nowhere there is a loud scream in my friends ear. We turn around to find an older man with no teeth grinning. He then turns around and walks away.

At our first bar I headed off to get drinks and my friend stayed back to avoid the crowd at the bar and to save our seats. Not even 30 seconds after I left her, Mr. Parts His Hair (seriously, it was tamed in such a way that you could tell a healthy amount of gel was used in preparing for this look) was on the prowl. He had been standing near us earlier in the night and at his first opportunity decides to start talking up my friend. I come back to find her awkwardly giving him her number. I think I must look scary because as soon as I got back he bolted. Maybe he doesn't have a lot of game when someone else is watching? Not really sure. But my friend later told me that a lot of the conversation had to do with her looking at the floor or around because she was having a hard time looking directly at him due to his choice of hairstyle. This comment makes us sound mean, but I promise, we really are nice girls.

Shortly after this encounter came the boys who ended up running us out of the bar. Showing his new roommate what Denver has to offer, drunkie proceeds to ask me the same question about 5 times (which I calmly answer hoping that he will eventually move on, but no). As the conversation dies down and we don't instigate anything else we think they will take the hint but don't so we decide to head out and go somewhere else. I guess we aren't the kind of people who can flat out tell someone to move on down the line. Maybe we just really wanted a change of scenary.

On the way to the next bar we are stopped by a guy standing on the street. He has wild curly hair, an odd look on his face, is holding his phone, and looks a little lost so we think he is just going to ask for directions. He then launches into a little speech, "Have you ever felt like you have to say hi to someone because they could change your life forever? That you just have to say hi to them?" It went on like this for awhile and my friend just can't handle it so she walks away laughing. I am stuck there trying to be polite as I back away when he asks me the kicker question, "So, would you...make me coffee, or buy me coffee..." Can't say that I have heard this one before but decided this was my exit so I said goodbye and ran to catch up with my friend who buy this time was halfway down the block.

By the time we got to the last bar it was a little late and not too crowded. Honest to God we were really actually having a good time talking and watching people but according to the general drunk public, since we were not falling over ourselves or making out with a random guy in a corner, we looked like we were miserable. In order to cure our saddness, Mr. iphone says he will buy us a drink. My friend tells him she is driving and declines but he decides to ignore this statement and orders her one anyway. The drinks come and she tells me that I have to drink hers for her and fast because she wants to go and get away from this kid. I look at the two long islands and get a little nervous because all I can imagine is how this may cause me to feel later in the night. I suck it up and down two long islands (which, thank God this bar does not put much alchohol in their drinks or I would have been in a lot of trouble) and we head out the door. This does not come fast enough to avoid the "Can I have your number" moment, which in this instance also came with, "What do you think of my roommate over there?" Yeah, the guy who has been sitting with a girl who we can only imagine is his finacee due to the insane rock on her finger, that guy.

We think there must have been a full moon.